On finding love, why timing is everything, and my perfect jeans

Meeting Your Person

Valentine’s Day has a way of amplifying everything. If you’re in love, it can feel celebratory. If you’re single – or open to love again – it can quietly surface questions you don’t always sit with.

Over the years, I’ve received many messages asking how Eric and I met, how our story unfolded later in life, and how to stay hopeful when it feels like everyone else has paired off. I understand the question, because I’ve lived it too.

This isn’t advice rooted in age. It’s insight shaped by experience – by being in different relationships, learning what matters, and understanding myself more clearly along the way. This is what that learning taught me.

1. Release the timeline.

Love doesn’t run on a clock.

Some people meet their person early. Others later. And some find themselves open to love again after life takes an unexpected turn. None of these paths are better or worse – they’re simply different.

What matters isn’t when love arrives, but who you are when it does. Every chapter adds clarity. Every experience refines your sense of what truly matters.

There is no being behind – only a life continuing to unfold.

2. Be visible – with clarity.

Meeting your person often begins with letting yourself be seen...not in a performative way, but in an honest, grounded one.

A girlfriend of mine recently sent an email to her friends sharing who she is, that she’s open to meeting her person, and the kind of relationship she’s looking for. Nothing heavy. Nothing awkward. Just clear. I loved it.

It immediately made me think about who in my network might be perfect for her. That kind of clarity is generous – it gives people something to work with.

Sometimes love starts with a simple sentence: I’m open, and this is what fits me now.

3. Don’t shrink to be chosen.

If you find yourself editing your ambition, softening your opinions, or quieting your needs to feel more appealing, pause.

The right person doesn’t need you to be smaller. They need you to be clear and honest with yourself and with them.

Connection isn’t about being easy to love...it’s about being exactly who you are. Alignment matters more than approval.

When I posted my profile on Raya, the photos I chose were very intentional. One of them was from a TED Talk I had done. It wasn’t the “cutest” photo, but it represented something meaningful to me.

That image is what caught Eric’s attention.

He swiped right, then googled the talk to see what it was about – and that’s when his interest deepened. It wasn’t about polish. It was about resonance. He felt what mattered to me.

And that’s how your person finds you – when you show up as yourself.

4. Let go of the picture...keep the standard.

Many of us carry a detailed picture of how love is supposed to look – the timing, the logistics, the checklist.

When Eric and I met, he was living in California and I was splitting my time between Toronto and New York. On paper, it wasn’t “perfect.” Geography alone could have been enough to rule it out.

But geography is solvable. Character is not.

What mattered wasn’t where we lived – it was whether he was a good human. Kind. Grounded. Supportive. Willing to figure things out.

Release the picture. Keep the standard.

5. When you connect – be real. Be present.

Once you meet someone you like, let yourself be real.

Not guarded. Not overly curated. Just present.

Early on, Eric and I created a playlist together...songs we loved, songs that captured that moment in time. It was our modern version of a mixtape. Simple. Personal. A little nostalgic.

It reminded me of something important: You are never too cool to feel that sense of fun and spontaneity.

Love doesn’t require coolness or restraint. It asks for sincerity. For playfulness. For letting moments matter while they’re happening. Be spontaneous.

If Valentine’s Day feels tender this year, be gentle with yourself.

Turn on your favourite rom-com…my personal fav is, “You’ve Got Mail” and imagine your person is out there hoping to meet you as well.

On Timing, Growth, And Becoming Ready

One of my favourite movies has always been “Sliding Doors”.

Not because it’s about romance in the traditional sense, but because it’s about timing. About how small moments, missed trains, and quiet decisions can change the course of a life.

What the film has always reminded me of is this: You meet the people you’re meant to meet…but only when you’re ready to be met.

I’ve long believed that your person is often already somewhere in your orbit. But before you meet them, you have to grow into the version of yourself that can actually receive that relationship – for yourself first, and for them second.

Looking back, there were many steps that had to happen before Eric and I met.

Earlier, I mentioned that one of the things that initially caught his attention was a TED Talk I had done. What I didn’t share is how close I came to saying no to it.

I was terrified. Speaking in that format – on a topic that felt personal and vulnerable – pushed me far outside my comfort zone. But I did it anyway. That mattered. It was growth.

I also had to leave an unhealthy relationship. I had to get very clear about what I would no longer tolerate...narcissistic behaviour, emotional instability, patterns that drained rather than supported me.

That clarity didn’t come overnight, but once it did, it changed everything.

And then there was something quieter, but just as important: I returned to the basics of what really mattered to me. Openness. Integrity. Curiosity, Kindness. The willingness to meet someone without armour.

Each of those moments – the fear, the boundary-setting, the decision to stay open felt separate at the time. But in hindsight, they were all preparing me.

That’s the part we don’t always talk about when we talk about timing. Timing isn’t passive. It isn’t luck. It’s active. It’s shaped by the choices you make, the work you do, and the courage it takes to grow.

The life, and the love, you want is often closer than you think. But you have to help yourself get there.

Sometimes the door opens because you were brave enough to walk toward it.

(On that note, I love this video from one of my favourite Instagram accounts: lakaytie)

Why I Buy My Jeans x 3

Everyone who knows me knows my relationship with black. It’s the quiet constant in my wardrobe...chic, understated, and endlessly reliable.

Jeans hold a similar place for me.

After years of experimenting, I’ve learned that you don’t need many styles...you need one that truly works for you. One cut. One fit. One shape you can rely on.

For me atm, that’s the Frame Rodeo.

The low-rise, bootcut silhouette feels confident without trying too hard. It suits my proportions, moves easily between moments, and does exactly what great clothing should do: it supports the life you’re living rather than demanding attention.

Once you find a pair like that, the smartest move isn’t variety – it’s commitment.

Buy them in multiples.

Tailor them with intention.

Let your style do the talking.

How I Wear Them

The Sneaker Crop

Hem the first pair to hit right at the top of your sneaker heel, ballet flat, or flip-flop – approximately 2 inches from the floor. This is your everyday, effortless version. Getting the length just right is super important.

The Boot Crop

Crop the second pair slightly more – about two inches shorter still – so they sit perfectly with a mid-heel or ankle boot. Clean. Polished. Easy.

The Full-Length Look

Keep the third pair long and tailored to skim about an inch from the floor when worn with heels. This is the dressed-up version – elongating, intentional, and timeless.

Just between us. xx Natasha